In Accordance to Rainbows.
I am Mitchel. 21 years on me. INFP, Pan, transgender, genderqueer and male. I like dinosaurs, kittens, rainbows, and hugs. I post a lot of Homestuck, and the rest is whatever I feel like (aka: what leaves me giggling for hours). You may know me as that awkward Tavros cosplayer, or as the nerdy transboy who trips a lot and has a speech impediment. I also am super involved in the trans community outside of tumblr, so my ask box is always open on that subject if you need a buddy <3.
-My Store "Mitchies Bowties"
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why I’m afraid of coming out: a 2 am text post by a sleep deprived 20 yearold
I’m so confused by my family.
I think my sister decided to out me as a lesbian to them. (I’m not a lesbian… She just thinks I am). They’ve suddenly gone from homophobic assholes to “Oh we should go to the Castro to help out at the Easter party for the gay kids who were disowned!”… They shouldn’t go there. They’ve spent the past 6 years of my life treating me like shit for not being “normal”. Just last summer they talked about the Castro as if it was home of Satan himself, and told me I was never to go there. Those kids don’t need to deal with jerks like them. They’ve had enough of it.
They’re suddenly talking about how the church I grew up in, the one that claimed homosexuality as the worst sin you could commit, is wrong. They say they are glad that they are moving. Just a few years back they spent days talking about how homosexuals were ruining their marriage. I was woken up on the day Prop 8 passed so they could mock me.
I don’t want them as Allies. The more they try to be, the more uncomfortable I get. I doubt they believe it. They probably just realized that I hate them and are trying to backpedal till I love them again.
Unfortunately, at this point the damage has already been done, and I don’t want to forgive them anytime soon. I’ll “tolerate” them. The same way they praise themselves on “tolerating” gay people.
I’ve been told by them that they’d be very disappointed with me if I were gay (ha… I wonder how they’d feel about me being trans!).
I imagine my coming out thusly:
Tomorrow is national coming out day!
Today, there was miracle. I suppose that might be a bit too big of a word for what happened, but a miracle is something that changes you, and that is what happened.
I am a horribly sappy little dude, so whenever something amazing happens I just want to skip around like a My Little Pony.
I spent four hours with two strangers talking about our lives. It began as a study group for our world history course but after a few minutes, the girl in the group began to lightly tease the other member about his refusal to share his given name, which was Chinese. After a short while, she began to ask him more questions about his life. I will not be sharing what either of them said about their lives, I feel like that would destroy how amazingly special the experience was. Despite this, I feel it is important for to make the point that neither of these young people have had anywhere near an ideal life, and some of the stories I heard shared were hard to comprehend, because I don’t want to imagine that anyone would be put in such a awful situation. I was at first uncomfortable, and kept silent. Of course, the girl noticed this after while and began to ask me questions. I brushed most of them off, answering vaguely as I could. (ie: ”what is your family like?” “It’s okay sometimes.”). Then she asked me about my hair, curious about why I kept it so short. Not wanting to out myself, I simply responded that I liked it that way. She continued, saying she wanted to give me a makeover, do my hair, my make-up and make me into a “hot mama-girl”. I told her no thanks, and quietly said to myself, “I am not a girl”. She heard my whisper and asked me if I would repeat myself a little louder. At this point I began start shaking, but I decided to go ahead anyway, and tell her directly. The young man, who had not spoken for a while, turned to me and said, ”You’re Transgender? I’d like to shake your hand.” I was still trembling, but managed to reach out and do so. He explained that he was a member of a certain infamous internet forum, and on occasion a Transperson would show up there, looking for help, and he could never imagine what it was like for them. The girl had taken a bit of time to process it, then mentioned Tyra Banks, and asked me a few respectful questions about my childhood, then made a comment about how my eyes were very soft, and that they gave me away a bit. Then she asked if I was on hormones, which I am not, and I explained that my family had no idea. She double checked if it was okay with me before asking if I was sexually attracted to men or women, to which I explained that I am asexual, and panromantic. I explained to her the best I could, but ended up opening up my laptop and taking her to AVEN-wiki, where I could more easily explain sexual attraction or desire vs. arousal. We spend a few more minutes on this before drifting back to our studies, and later went out to the gas station for snacks, before heading to class.
After class the girl passed me a note, and quickly left. It nearly left me in tears. Today, she not only shared with me some of her biggest secrets, but gave me a wonderful piece of advice on life; To share your story. She wrote that the more you open up, the easier it will become and never to forget that there are people you meet for a reason, urging me to keep in touch.
For the first time in a very long time, I have real hope and truly believe I have a future.
How is THAT for a first coming out? (aside from one friend up at university) I think it went pretty well.
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